SOY

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Cogito ergo sum. René Descartes
Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum. Ambrose Bierce

En una planeta cualquiera,
Atrapada por un astro
Humanoides cognoscentes
Inventan símbolos.

Primero es la palabra,
Madre de los idiomas,
Atado al presente,
Padre de los Yo,

Ciego a un futuro
Desconocido e ilusorio
Tal como el pasado,
Variable y olvidado.

Incautos humanoides
Pensaron un pensamiento;
Un enigma fatal:
Qué soy yo?

Y contesta el silencio.
Muchos se entristecen
O chupan los dedos
De sabios y químicos,

Por sus transitorias
ilusione de autonomía
de fuerza y de paz;
Huyen a la nada,

Crean y creen dioses
de la fé y la ciencia,
invisibles, todopoderosos
prepotentes, omniscientes.

Mas ni los dioses saben
Qué soy yo
Que sois voz
O si soy yo voz.

Los claravidentes
Cantan canciones
Hacen el amor
Declaman poemas,

No ignoran ni lloran
Los cogito ergo sum
Mas opinan así:
Sum Ergo Sum.
Soy.

Le Garage Hopping

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garage (n.)

1902, from French garage “shelter for a vehicle,” originally “a place for storing something,” from verb garer “to shelter,” from Middle French garer “to shelter, dock ships,” from Frankish *waron “to guard” or some other Germanic source (compare Old High German waron “take care”), from Proto-Germanic *war-, from PIE root *wer- (5) “to cover” (see warrant (n.)).

 

There are few aspects of life in our time so ubiquitous as those related to Car. Roads, highways, freeways, bridges, tunnels, and an insatiable hunger for fossil fuel reflect its significance. Emotionally, Car is the diploma of adulthood for youth, and the emblem of power, freedom, and success for the adult. A very poor person may find transformative significance in the acquisition an expensive and beautiful Car. All are despaired when denied the right to Car by a judicial decision, injury, illness, or old age.

 

We worship the deity, Car. Nonbelievers–who have no devotion to Car at all–, are rare. Even unbelievers cannot live entirely without Car at all, for that is outside a society; they worship Car tacitly. In fact, while usually outraged by unapproved death from war, neglect, abuse, or murder, we sacrifice several tens of thousands of friends, children, and neighbors to Car each year.

 

One’s economic and civic status is best measured by the housing and care of Car: The garage. A multi-car garage, or elegant car barn is at one end of the spectrum and street-side storage or pubic transportation at the other.

 

But in either case, those are extremes. The majority of us live in that ample and average middle ground of small homes with one or two car Garages. For the average person, the relative value of Car is about 4:1 compared to anything else.

1)  The average small home contains about 1600-2000 square feet while the average 22 x 24 (528 square ft.) garage is more than 4 times the space devoted to a one or two child bedroom–10 x 11 (110 square ft.).

2)   The average cost of raising a child to age 18, not considering college, is thought to be at least $50,000, while the average cost of a Car over the same period is, at a minimum, $148,500, at 15,000 miles per year.

 

Whether grand or humble, the Garage is a Temple, dedicated to Car, and consecrated by space and expense. Yet to judge from my own garage, I am a sinner or hypocrite. I profess one thing and do another, hoping for ultimate forgiveness. And I am not alone. Consider my friend John Ciervo, returning home on an average winter evening after a long work-day.

 

Mr. Ciervo parks his new Volvo in the driveway, knowing there is no room inside the garage. An electronic Aladdin silently speaks. The cavernous door opens, over the cries of an irritable worm drive.   Ciervo is blinded at first by the door opener lights, and begins to shuffle forward cautiously. There is no altar, no incense, no beeswax candles. His garage has been profaned, in large part by through his own sins of omission and commission.

 

Ciervo stumbles over a broken lawn mower, almost landing on some scattered bicycles in assorted states of disrepair. He sidesteps a table that is on furniture-death-row. He skirts the leaking water from a frosted over deep-freeze, and turns off a washing machine that is spinning off balance.

 

He picks up a soiled Godmother Pizza box that has fallen from the overflowing recycle bin. Ciervo sees a newspaper on the stained cement floor and front page article catches his eye. It is about garage hopping, the teen-age fad of stealing beer or electronics from neighborhood garages. The report focuses on a garage hopper who was shot and killed. He looks outside and quickly actuates the garage door closer mechanism.

 

Is it murder, or justified force, to repel a garage –home invasion? Should teen-hoppers be judged as children or adults? Ciervo is reminded of an online quote he saw at work that morning in a comment string about that very question, including this entry from a wise and wily protagonist:

 

for one i see chicago has gotten stricked well it all depends if you get a good cop and you are polite you will get off with a slap on the rist but in your case i will look fast for a law pointed attorny and ask as many questions as posible the law in your eyes are not played like in t.v so good luck kid and trust me i know keeeep out of roofs. edmit you were doing it and let them know you ment no harm all you were trying to do was go from one roof to the other i see your play time is way over hmm.

 

Ciervo blinks in the bright light, and reflects.

“ That kid is clearly intelligent, and cyber-connected; but subsists in a disconnected subculture that doesn’t live, or dream, the American Dream. Why?” He throws down the newspaper. “Are kids like this the reason our country is falling behind by most measures of well being? Or am I the problem?” He laughs aloud and remarks to the sullen garage:

“ I Owe Therefore I Am.”

A 130 decibel base beat from an unseen muscle car

slowly swaggers by, rattling the dirty side windowpane. A startled daddy long legs begins shaking her web hopefully. A distant siren sounds; then two, then three.

 

Ciervo goes inside. No one is awake. He plops down on the MadeinChina duck feather stuffed pig leather couch and wands up the new 42 inch Vietnam made LED TV. The talking head weatherperson jokes and drones on interminably about the weather outside, as if it were invisible. In the midst of a loan consolidation ad he breaks out in a broad grin and addresses the TV:

“Drop dead up you dickhead drone! I’m sheltered merde ! Neither this street, nor this house, nor this garage nor that car are mine. All of it belongs to The Washington DC Bank of Wells Fargo America.” And reaching for the remote, J. Camus Ciervo adds wryly: “AKA Garage Hoppers Unlimited!” Clique…

 

 

 

 

Viva, ¡Mierda!

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¡Sí! You are one of those

Who always work and dwell

Where no one ever knows

Of what you do so well

 

With dirty rooms and sheets

Or growing fruits and seeds

Or many kinds of meats

Or clearing yards of weeds,

 

Or raising someone’s child

Or renting flesh to one

Who likes to be defiled

And laughs when it is done.

Viva, ¡Mierda!

 

Your little life is spent

In thankless silent toil

‘Til you at last relent

And fertilize our soil.

 

¡Sí! Wherever you are from

Or what your sex or race

With documents or none

None here can take your place.

 

You will change our choice

Of food and art and song

And color with your voice

Our universal tongue.

 

Then none can ever say

If you are tú or me;

Or put another way,

If yo y tú are We.

Viva, ¡Mierda!

 

 

 

Gajardo’s Moon

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Proprietor of the Moon,  B 1918, D 1998*

In 1951 Genaro Gajardo first arrived in Talca, Chile.  He was 33, single, a sometime poet, a painter, and newly licensed lawyer- which bears on the events that would make him most memorable to history.  He arrived with aspirations, and expectations for his life, as one from an educated and once privileged family might; he fully expected to be welcomed into the most respected local gentlemen’s organization, Club Talca, where he was recommended for membership by friends.  Furthermore, he arrived in Talca with some inherited notoriety; his family background made him of interest to local society, because his hyper-intellectual great grandparents had refused to pass on the family name to their own children. (Seven in number; apparently they weren’t too intellectual for at least one popular activity.)

It was their children’s given or proper names that are memorable. One was named Arquímedes (Archimedes) Capitán; another Australia Tonel (wine-cask); another Chile Mapocho (the main river flowing through Santiago); another Sanson (Samson) Radical;   and so on. Most of these name-challenged children became quite accomplished adults in various fields, perhaps in part, goaded to excel by their bizarre names. For example, Genaro’s aunt Justicia Espada (Justice Sword) became the first woman engineer in the Americas.

As to the Club Talca, while Gajardo was generally welcomed, he lacked a single, but essential, requirement: All members had  to be propertied, to own property- which seemed to Genaro a distant possibility- and one he rejected for his own eccentric egalitarian  reasons. And indeed his pursuits attracted attention in this rural  south central Chilean town.
Shortly after his arrival, Genaro had started an astronomical society – Sociedad Telescópica Interplanetaria.  (Interplanetary Telescopic Society).  Whether the formation of the society was part of an obscure long term plan to qualify for the Club Talca is unknown; but the Society attracted important members of the community, like local Bishop Manuel Larrain, whose active participation and aristocratic name gave pause to people who might have derided the main objective of the Society:  “To establish a reception committee for the arrival of extraterrestrials.“

It is September 1954. Genaro is only very occasionally a guest at the meeting of the Club Talca. Yet he resents not being a full member of the Talcan elite; he is personally offended by the requirement that only property owners can be members. He remains at a loss to see how can he qualify without actually owning ‘property’ , and at the same time make clear to his colleagues the uncivil and prejudiced nature of that bar to membership.  Tonight he has been a guest at the Club but is required to leave when the business portion of the program starts.  He departs the privileged address at 1 Oriente,  walks  alone down past the nearly deserted Plaza Central; the system that places so much importance on material possessions festers like a thorn in his foot as he moves dejectedly on.  A brilliant full moon is overhead. He looks at it pensively, and suddenly realizes:

“No one owns the moon. Yet! It is a natural satellite of Earth, held in the gravitational grasp of the planet, exactly like the continents that float on the molten magma below!” That night he pores over his law books. The next morning, 25 Sept 1954, he appears at the office of Talcan  Notary Public César Jiménez Fuenzalida to make his claim:

“I am here to inscribe my ownership, dating from 1857, of the moon, a satellite of Earth.” (That 1857 reference was a formal requirement for such property claim declarations at the time). Without comment he pushes forward his formal claim:

“Jenaro Gajardo Vera,  es dueño, desde antes del año 1857, uniendo su posesión a la de sus antecesores, del astro, satélite único de la Tierra, de un diámetro de 3.475.00 kilómetros, denominada LUNA, y cuyos deslindes por ser esferoidal son: Norte, Sur, Oriente y Poniente, espacio sideral.

(Genaro Gajardo Vera is owner, since before 1857, assuming the Rights of his forebears, to the only satellite of Earth, with a diameter of  3,475 km, called MOON, whose spheroidal limits are North, South, East, and West, in sideral space. ( The 1857 reference is a legalistic detail required by the statute for such claims.)

On studying the application the Notary comments:  “Look here sir. Technically, your document meets the requirements; it will suffice to start the process. The moon is in the gravitational control of the Earth, or belongs to Earth. It has borders, and dimensions, limits; But you are going to be labeled a lunatic. Or worse”.  To which Gajardo responds  acidly, characteristically:

“You are too kind, sir.” The notary is not amused, or too literally oriented to respond in the same vein, and continues:

“ Before it can be inscribed as your property you must publish your Claim in the Official Newspaper three times in accord with the law. That’ll run you about forty two thousand pesos.”  And nervously, in an atypical attempt at humor adds, “Reasonable, considering the millions of hectares.”

A month later, title in hand, Gajardo is accepted as a full member of the Club Talca. Shortly thereafter the news appears world wide: “Chilean lawyer is owner of the Moon.”  Suddenly the obscure eccentric is the focus of much attention. When the newly propertied lawyer appears on a national (now international)  TV show “Sabados Gigantes” ,  host  Don Francisco ( Mario Kreutzerger) comments in his characteristic direct fashion: “People think you’re  nuts.” Gajardo replies:

“I’ll tell you why I claimed the moon. I don’t like people who live on this Earth. I don’t like that we haven’t been able to eliminate hatred, envy, accusations, rancor…”

Impuestos Internos (Chilean equivalent to the IRS) sends inspectors to impose taxes on his property.  Gajardo responds:  “I have no objection to the tax due. However, I insist that, in accord with the law, you first send an assessor to my property to make the required measurements. That is what assessors must do to meet the legal requirements.  After, we’ll talk further.”   Apparently there is  no subsequent site visit by the Chilean tax assessors.

A minister of the Supreme Court, Rubén Galecio Gómez, asks Gajardo: “Well, if you claimed the moon, I could do the same for the planet Mars.”  Gajardo replies: “No you could not, because the law prevents anyone from claiming property that does not belong to Earth, such as Mars. “

The Club members have a good laugh, appreciate the astuteness of Gajardo’ maneuver, and understand his objection to the property requirement- but they don’t change their bylaws. The matter fades into the stacks of dry, dusty yellowing archives of old newspapers.

But in 1969 the USA prepares to send astronauts to the moon.  An open letter from Gajardo appears in USA News and other news papers here, as well as in Chile; it asks he be allowed to meet the moon visitors on their return.  There is no public response from the US.  Genaro retains Chilean legal counsel Enrique Monti Forno to assert his ownership. Monti finds that in 1967 international agreements limited any ownership of private property to 80 km above the earth; but Gajardo’s claim had been made based on ownership by his forebears long prior to that agreement.  Gajardo claims that that President Nixon made a request for permission to land on the moon, and that he gave his consent with provisions that the moon not be claimed by the US, remain unexploited, and accessible to all terrestrials on similar terms. A landing fee  paid is reported as $1, US.  While certainly these requirements are consistent with Gajardo’s philosophy, no written documentation is available.

Gajardo dies in 1998; a woman in France claims she has inherited the moon; yet there the matter also dies.  The face looking sideways  at us out from the photo above, however,  lives on today in a nephew, who looks identical:  not only that, but he is an eccentric elderly man of letters,  devoted to global Quijotesque exploits that  are entertaining to readers of newspapers, but have little other significance for most  terrestrials. He lives so marginally, alone in an old run- down inherited house, that recently a thief who broke in found nothing worth taking: an old typewriter, many hundreds of books  on shelves or tables, or in stacks, and thousands of old newspapers and magazines, the objects of the author’s work;  saucers and cups filled with butts smoked to the bitter end, and filters that had been defiantly torn off before lighting up;  but no food worth eating, and no TV.  In a moment of compassion, comprehension, or confusion the miscreant leaves a small radio behind.  What are the intruder’s thoughts, what the details of his life?  One wants to know, because every life is a mythic song unsung until someone listens.  I like to think he heard Genaro’s song, echoing down the musty hallways of time.

########################

*This is creative non fiction.  Yet it is all factual; I did not create Genaro Gajardo. or as he became in some places, Jenaro.  His outrageous and endearing eccentricity with regard Club Talca and his moon are entirely his own creation.  Entering his name in a browser will confirm that. the same is true of Justicia Espada Acuña De Gajardo, and the Talca   Interplanetary Telescopic Society.  On the other hand, factual material extraneous to Mr. Gajardo occasionally is included in order to create an informative, readable narrative, and most quoted conversation is imagined.   Subsequently there have been others  who have claimed the moon, and one man has sold  worthless lots to hundreds of thousands of buyers . Yet no one is ever likely to own the moon with such principled purpose or such admirable style as Genaro Gajardo.

jl

.

Para Borges

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Los Cronófagos

He began before Time to fight,

To attack by day and by night;

To infiltrate, decay, and to break,

All that gives life and strength

To the unaware and unwary.

I flaunted my innate strength,

Ignored his puerile rant and cant.

He fell silent and at length

Took up timely weapons

Unknown to me, yet known to all.

He worked in covert and overt ways.

In heedless hauteur I grew old.

He became my anointed master,

I, a bonded servant, indentured

To my own chimerical freedom.

I tire of caring for his sagging flesh.

We dispute and redefine the term

And the terms of my servitude.

He denies my release, and

Grows ever more demanding.

My own illusions are his strength.

He relies on my lies to myself.

“The contract reads,” he says,

“that before your debt is paid,

You shall serve as my nursemaid.”

I wash his tortured feet,

Warm his rheumy joints,

Attend his phlegm clogged airways,

And suffer remembrance of a past

Which was, and was not.

We bury and mourn

Those who loved us, or not,

And view our shrinking frames

Over rheumy, crusting eyelids.

I cede him even my own name.

Shaking, I feed and dress him;

Stumbling, I wear his worn shoes,

Curse my devotion to his survival;

And fear we shall live forever

While he fears that we shall not.

Yet we are sometime civil beings,

Not altogether evil,

Or altogether free

Not altogether kind

Or altogether blind;

We mistake and take,

Each for the other self,

As Cronos dishes out

From bowls of bone and lime

The bittersweet gruel of Time.

33 Chilean Miners Are Every Miner

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33 Chilean miners so dramatically rescued in Mina San José were revealed to be admirable, intelligent, hard working people. They are all miners everywhere.  Mina San José is every mine.  Consider Holden, Washington:

Googling Holden Village, one finds only a curious little looping line in the Wenatchee National Forest in North central Washington. But the satellite view allows one to zoom down Copper peak to an abandoned mine, mill, and tailing pond. Holden village lies just to the North across Railroad Creek and National Forest development road 8301. Much of the Village itself still survives. There is a one room school, and the former Company Store. There are two story bunk houses where most miners lived, single men attracted by unusually high 1940 pay, upward of $1.25 daily.  Uphill are  8 family homes built for administrators and their families. After the mining company closed it sold the village to the Lutheran Church for $1.

The main Holden family housing area for miners was a half mile down the road to the West; it is gone now because the Forest Service permitted the homes to be built only on condition they be removed when the mine closed. My father built ours with material purchased through Montgomery (‘monkey’) Wards and Sears Roebuck catalogs.

There was only one newspaper available in the company town, which I delivered after school to about 100 subscribers.  The early nightfall of winter often froze my wet corduroy pants into sonorous icy clacking tubes. On Sunday, when I had to deliver the heaver papers, I hired a schoolmate to carry the second double front and back newspaper bag half a mile to the family miner homes. His pay was a five cent candy bar, purchased at the company store. Of course 5 cents bought a very large Hershey then. I netted about $8 or $10 monthly, mostly in big tin Howe Sound company coins. Even so the flimsy light money worked as well as the stuff we use today, also now all base metal. It seems likely our nation has become a company town, though the owners are  called Washington DC. My mother kept the tin coins in a sock in her bedroom. I never saw them again, there being little for a kid to buy there.

When WWII hit the US my father wanted to join the Sea-Bees and take a more active part. But he was declined because he was in a vital industry: copper. He sold the house for $800. We went to Mexico, to another copper mine.

For nine and ten year old boy in Holden it was mostly fun, freedom, food, and fancy. One more mining town. To move every year from one mine, one country, one culture, one language, to another, was normal. It wasn’t easy. But I loved the wildness of small mining towns, the changes, the excitement, the challenge.

In Holden I looked out my little Sears attic window at big soft falling flakes of crystallized Pacific moisture and thought about Flash Gordon. The average winter’s snowfall was 350 inches  with 35 inches of rain in the summer. On clear  moonlit nights I knew I would one day walk the face of the moon.

The investment in time, money, sweat, and  blood required to  find, develop, and operate a mine is huge. It takes years. It includes scouring remote areas to discover where a mineral resource is likely; drilling  hundreds of rock core samples; analyzing the cores. If there is mineral, that is only the beginning. The real cost balloons: establishing access  to the mine site through roads, conveyor belts, lift lines; providing for  housing, schooling for children, health care, entertainment. (Holden,  like many big mines in those days, had  a school,  bowling alley, dance hall, a  baseball diamond.); providing water,  sewage, electricity. Then one must add up all the costs of infrastructure and of mining, extracting, milling the ore,  dealing with waste rock and tailings, dust, toxic smoke,  possible litigation,  and complying with myriad known and unknown governmental  regulations; and selling the product…  Only then might one see the  first penny of income.  Profit, if any,  not until years later.

Holden was one of the biggest copper mines in the nation at the time.  But in the 1950′s the ore body was exhausted, the war was over, and it closed. That is the fate of all mines. Yet often the infrastructure remains in  a very remote and lovely place. Holden like many other mining towns, survived the demise of the mine; consider the upscale resorts in Colorado, and Arizona. The  old mining towns at  El Teniente and Chuquicamata  in Chile are World Heritage sites.  ( see https://lufboro.wordpress.com/2010/01/19/chuquicamata-and-el-teniente/) We  ourselves lived in a number of mining towns that still  live on as resorts: Balatoc and  Baguio, Filipinas,  and tiny Manhattan, Nevada, and Holden,Washington.

We never understood one another, my father and I.  He seemed to irritated because life came easy to me. And I was grateful that it was so. I  could always arrogantly choose the course that was most exciting, selfish, exotic, and at the same time  seemed to me most ethical, knowing that life was good and God was fair. Only later was I taught we had been poor, that our Holden house, most all our houses, should have been condemned by multiple layers of government as unfit; that my parents were neglectful and abusive to allow me so much unsupervised freedom in old mines, caves, jungles, deserts and high mountains where mines are found; that mining companies  abuse poor ignorant miners and pillage the earth.

My father never  did ‘get it’. At 88 he still consulted with remote and soon to be bankrupt mine operators who agreed to fly him to a place like Borneo to talk about their underground water problem. They would pay him off with a big party and roasted suckling pig. He was always just a conservative, always working, driving around in his old wreck of a car, never wasting, never wanting, wearing his old clothes and acting like Thoreau. But of course the generations never understand one another any better than we understand ourselves. Too bad I didn’t realize all that in Holden. I thought it was paradise. But what else could anyone expect of an ignorant  kid? Mina San José and 33 Chilean miners taught me what my father knew all along.

Homar and the Alluvial Cirque

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Hic Sunt Dracones

A tire flattened by the resentful rutted rock strewn road delayed us, but we arrived on a cloudless late summer Sunday afternoon, accompanied by Cristián’s father, who carried part of our gear.   I knocked on the door of the caretaker’s cabin where the tin roof was lashed down against future winter weather by a long 7/8 inch thick plastic rope. It stood near a long trail that wound its way about 100 meters up past a series of seven hot-spring pools, each overflowing into the one below. The narrow flat valley floor was populated by several small tents to shelter visitors from the searing high altitude sun. I tried to imagine Winter when the valley would be deserted, reclaimed by white wind and  drifted snow.  But wind and weather are concerns even at the height of summer; an afternoon updraft arose as we set up camp about 50 meters away, so that  raising our bulky tent  required a great deal of  struggle and raucous banter.

The day visitors left before sunset and we found ourselves alone on the flat narrow valley floor. I considered supper, thinking to make hot soup, but found that there were no cooking pots.

“Where are the pots? Did anyone get them out of the trunk”?

“Marmota emptied the trunk.” Felipe’s nickname is ‘marmota’ (marmot); Chileans don’t fear being politically incorrect, and are never shy about nicknames.

“Marmota! “said Sebastián, you left the pots in the trunk!” Ricardo, who is devoted to foul language , jumped in.

“Huebón!” said Ricardo, who tries never speak without a foul word. In this case he chose a variant of ‘big egg(s)’, that I leave to the reader to interpret. “I told you to check the trunk before the car went!”  And so on to infinity; any parent knows the routine.

So I went back Homar’s cabin to ask for the loan of a pot. He was a local from the town of San José del Maipo, named after the volcano that dominates the Northeast quarter of the valley where an extensive watershed begins at the Andean crest between Chile and Argentina. Mountain people are mountain kin, and without hesitation he rummaged about and pulled out a large cast iron pot, saying, “¿Algo mas?”

“ No, ¡ gracias Homar!”

“ Bueno, avisenme, cualquier cosa. Su casa.”, an abbreviated old saying  ‘My house is your house.’

In the mountains twilight is long and luxurious. A clear moonless night sky slowly rolled down from the surrounding peaks. The wind abated.  As the darkness thickened a myriad stars appeared and to the west, the faint outlines of two galactic clusters, the Magellanic Clouds. The Southern Cross began to tick off the hours as it rotated about the void that is celestial South.   From the east, we began to see intermittent flashes of light.

“¿Que es eso, Tío?”

“Maybe lightening. An electrical storm over the pampas of Argentina.” But there was no distant thunder, and I soon realized: We were seeing light from eruptions of the earth dragon who heated the hot springs; the caldera of San José del Maipo volcano.

A person can get a reputation, may try to live up to it, or live it down, instead of quietly outliving it. Most every year, during more than 30 years, I have taken two or three teenagers, usually relatives, backpacking in the Chilean Andes. These adventures have become greatly exaggerated in the telling and re –telling, morphing into beautiful lies, or rites of passage. New volunteers hope to be tested, and accepted into the Order of Tío Jhon.

In the ‘70s most of my Chilean relatives were scandalized by the idea of anyone going into the mountains, let alone their own children.

“What for? And no horse! There’s  the  puna,  and wind that burns, and smugglers. The whole place should be off limits, like the unknown oceans of 15th century maps: Hic Sunt Dracones’”.   But Chile was a different country then, among the poorest in the hemisphere by almost every standard measure.  It has changed radically, even in regard to the way people think of mountains. Now Patagonia and the Andes are encrusted with foreign and native backpackers, as well as Chilean teens. Seeping bags, and back packs, like blue jeans, are part of many active youngster’s standard gear. Now those who want to be introduced to the mountain are no longer only nephews, but nieces. None of them will believe that Tío Jhon is no longer young or strong, even though objectively the packing involves less back and more internal combustion engine.

This year I went again, partly to keep the faith, but also because my own spiritual home is still somewhere in the dry high air under a black cobalt sky. There were ten volunteers, among them my two youngest daughters. Yet I have always limited the group to three, because the Andes can be treacherous; how could I keep more than two or three safe from the mountain and from themselves?  I asked my youngest daughter, Sandi, and her three cousins to wait for another time. She felt terribly abused.

“You took Rodrigo and Álvaro when they were 11 and 12;  and 13 and 14!”

“Yes, but…” No explanation was sufficient. I would be a condemned father. At least until next year. That left five, still too many for a real backpack.  I decided to take them to this  remote natural hot spring, accessible by car. Though there were still six, Pablo, son of a Santiago psychiatrist, and my daughter Lilí were both 18, and reliably mature. That left Cristián, 13, Ricardo and Felipe, 15, and Sebastián, 14. I could almost  meet the standard of three adolescents. Pablo’s parent’s contributed the large Brazilian canvas tent, a  3×4 meter old style external aluminum tube frame affair with three 1×2 meter ‘rooms’ at one end for privacy, and sturdy enough to withstand the high valley summer updrafts.

The hot springs are at about 11,000 ft elevation in the Cajon Del Maipo, to the Southeast of Santiago in a narrow mountain valley on sparsely vegetated private land otherwise occupied in summer mainly by the occasional goat-herd family. Translation: Possibly For Sale: day-fresh hot bread, goat cheese and milk, some simple staples, wine,  or  sometimes barbecued kid.

If you have ever organized a camping trip for a group like this, you know the problems: Do they have appropriate clothes, shoes, socks, sleeping bags, rain gear, hats, and personal items for hygiene and protection from the elements? Is the food and equipment adequate? Does any one have health or related limitations? But by the time we left things were triple checked and I was confident we would establish a comfortable and well provisioned base camp from which to explore the surrounding area.  I would be better acclimated to the altitude than my charges, giving  felt the altitude giving me an advantage, at least until  they adapted.

Chile is a several thousand long volcanic land, with the longest north-south length  of any country in the world, yet one of the narrowest.  People live at the battle line in an eon’s long war between continental plates. Off the Chilean coast lies an abyss which is deeper than the Andean Heights. The entire country lies  between the Andes and the Abyss, clinging to an unstable piece of continental shelf.  The Maipo is just one of many fast rivers intent on moving the Andes back down into the Abyss, its icy waters made mud brown by eroded material during spring and early summer snow melts.

The termas, thermal baths, are five open air oval 5×4 meter palisade pools, each cooler than the one above. In the daylight they are milky blue unless muddied by bathers; in the cold night air they are steaming India ink black. The rims of the pools are merely accreted mineral salts, where water has long flowed over a man made rim, gradually building up walls of salt. There is so much mineral in the hot water that after bathing, one must wash off in fresh water, otherwise the skin remains slightly plastered, and swim suits crust so as to almost stand alone.

As dark invaded the valley, much to our surprise, a generator kicked in at the caretaker cabin, and the trail leading to the uppermost hot pool was low voltage lighted.  We labored, short of breath, up to the pools, joining  about six locals, including Homar.

¡Bienvenidos! This is the best time. No tourists. La copucha.” -, tall tales, gossip, lies and news.- “ The early morning is good  too.  Big contrast, cold, hot, steam, sunbright  air. Try it. ”

“What time, about?”

“ Oh. Early. 5 AM or so.”

“Liar!  Nice try! You won’t catch me up here all alone at five!”

Despite a prolonged soaking under the cold stars we remained unwrinkled because of  hot spring’s high mineral content,

The next afternoon was devoted to light walking and adapting to the thin air.  After a light snack we headed for a ridge of black where Homar said there were fossils.  In hiking with children I insist that we stay together and that I lead. It was a stunningly perfect afternoon, with light cool updrafts. The area was rocky, dry, and relatively barren, populated only by sedges, chartreuse colonies of woody plants called llareta, low thick leaved alpine shrubs, and low clusters of  flowers.  There was occasionally some light  puna (altitude sickness sometimes called soroche) relieved by rest. We  found some flat shell fossils in black slate, explored a limestone cave, and  a gypsum mine where the entrances were still partly filled with last winter’s snow. In the distance were occasional condors and a lone guanaco, a small camelid like a delicate llama. Though guanacos are herd animals, there is only one male to a herd, and the young live alone until they can whip some dominant male or steal some females.  Late in the afternoon summer cumulus darkened the sky, threatening rain, so we returned to camp, ready for supper and another hot soak.

The third day I pushed our acclimation to the altitude and exercise a bit further. The geologically young Andes are very porous in this area so snowmelt disappears into the ground immediately. Yet I believed there should be stream or a lake or a meadow beneath a large south facing cirque. We were rewarded by a long narrow meadow with five small lakes, a perfect string of crystal blue aquatic pearls threaded on a  tiny silver stream. Arriving back at the tent, I was aware that I was quite tired while my charges were still full of energy.  When youth is physically stressed it quickly becomes stronger while when age is stressed it doesn’t; this third day at altitude had made them guanacos though I was still just an old man.

Six teens in a tent is an unforgettable experience, not limited to mere continuous crudity and farting. You may imagine what the tent looked like on the third day: Cosmic disorder wrapped in 90 to 100 decibels of undecipherable debate punctuated by bouts of uncontrollable mirth. In my adult ignorance I perceived that as noise. I thought of calling for order, but desisted. Wha?  In the end I’d have to make order myself.   After supper and spa, they were sent off into the weeds to brush their teeth, possibly with toothpaste, though soap would have been quite appropriate.

I like to sleep in the open whenever I can, and set up about 20 meters away; but Homar called out  “Vengan a jugar Pimpó”. (Pingpong!)

¡Tío! ¡ Vamos con el Homar! I declined, preferring the peaceful sleep of the innocent under quiet curious southern stars, while the dragon in the caldera, unseen and unheard, spit occasional defiant flashes at the night.

The fourth morning my charges slept late, thanks to the ping pong fest; we breakfasted, went to a late morning hot bath, and lunched in the shade of the big tent until 2 PM.

The summer sunset would be nine or ten hours away, offering plenty of time for an exploration of a nearby waterfall and whitewater stream spilling from the Argentine border.  With a light pack of food, some drinking water, and fruit, we set off. All my teens were enthusiastic, frisky, and competitive. We crossed the steam, and headed toward the sound of the falls.  After only 20 minutes it became necessary to climb a 40 meter rock-fall, consisting chiefly of head sized boulders cascading toward the stream at the steep angle of repose.  The foaming water below roared in fury, angered by the nearby falls.  Concerned that people might scramble up the rock slide too closely and dislodge a boulder on one another, I decided to send Pablo up first, to wait at the top, while I released each hiker one at a time. This took about 15 minutes.

Arriving at the top of the rock-fall, I found we were at the base of a very large fan-shaped cirque: a 200 meter high seashell like face of fine dirt and small rocks, originating from the eroded earth above,  gradually becoming steepest at the top. The surface, having been punished and polished by wind and rain, was almost like cement. The only safe ascent was to avoid it, and move laterally to find topsoil and brush. Yet all except Pablo had, immediately on arriving, started a race for the top, directly up the cirque.

“¡Bájense imbéciles! Bájenseeeee! ” I gestured frantically and called repeatedly, to no avail because of their intense focus on the race and the noise.

Every mountain lover learns that, as in life itself, the going up is almost always easier than the coming down. My charges had reached a place  of instability and  fear where they could neither safely move farther upward, nor descend without losing control.  Felipe was flattened face to face with the cirque, clutching the mountain. Lilí was perched on a big rock, secure but stuck. Ricardo and Felipe were stranded in between them, in a in a five point attachment to the packed earth, if one includes the butt.   Sebastián was frantic, clinging to a steeper area to my right. Pablo had waited for me. It was about 4 PM with 4 or 5 hours of light left.

¡Oiga  Pablo! Go on up to left,  climb up where there’s topsoil and bush. Take your time.  I have to do something about Sebastián. The rest are ok.”

“When I get to the top, what?”

“I don’t know. Go get Homar. And a rope.”  I climbed up  a way to speak with the children, to prepare them for a few hours there.  As I approached they all responded quite calmly and rationally, excepting Sebastián, who was simply panicked. I felt he could not hold on the way he was; though a fall would not be fatal,  he’d likely be hurt on the rocks below, and I very much feared explaining  how that happened.  Like, Why I was still alive and unhurt.  So felt compelled to try and reach him and inch him to a safer spot.

In short order I was close enough to speak with him.  “Put your whole body belly first,  close to the mountain!  Like you can stick to it. Kick your toes into the dirt until you make  a little niche!”

“¡No, no puedo, tío!”

“Yes, you can!  Take your time. Go slow. ” And he did just that, calming down nicely. But I realized that I myself couldn’t descend safely either.  My only recourse was to reach the top of the fan shaped cirque. “You’re good now. Try to relax as much as you can because… Sorry, you will be there for a couple of hours. But there’s no rain, no snow.”

“What if I have to take a crap?”

“Enjoy! Who gives a shit?!” At least his sense of humor was back.

Slowly, laboriously kicking footholds in the stubborn earth, I made my way upward, and at last reached the overhanging layer of topsoil at the upper lip of the cirque. Dry mouthed, trembling, and exhausted, I pulled myself up over the root bound lip onto level ground, amazed that my life was still mostly my own. Pablo arrived, and I sent him to the caretaker cabin to get a rope, and help, while I stayed with the stranded climbers.

There were still four children trapped on the fan.  They had remained where they were, as instructed. Gradually accepting the absurdity and inevitability of their situation, they began to joke back and forth, to sing songs and tell tall tales under the burning alpine sun. a hot wind, one architect of the cirque, began to blow harder.    In about 40 minutes, Pablo, and a ping pong player arrived with a rawhide lariat about 10 yards long; it was not nearly long enough to reach even the nearest child.  But  they said Homar would bring a better rope, and in another hour Homar and a second man appeared with the long thick rope from the caretaker house roof. Ricardo, the most obstreperous of the teens, shouted up to the rescuers;

¡Si me sacai’[1] primero te chupo el pico!’ promising an explicit sexual favor to  be rescued first.  The newcomer called down to Sebastián.

Chucha Sebastián, ¡que te imagináis!” But Sebastián couldn’t hear him.

“You know him? I asked.

Si. I came to visit just for today. He was my brother’s best friend.”

“They quarreled?”

“No. My brother was killed in an auto accident 6 months ago. I wanted to check on Sebastián, I don’t know why, just felt I should. Besides, Felipe’s mom said she’d bring lunch day after tomorrow.”

“Well. I’m glad you are here. He will be too when he realizes it. He’s the one way down to the left.”

Four of us held the rope fast, and four times Homar was let down to rescue each child one by one until they were all safely on top. They had been on the fan clutching the planet desperately for almost four hours. Ricardo was first to be rescued so he will never live down his bribe.

That evening I walked to a nearby goat-herd shelter, and arranged for delivery next day of a cabrito asado, (barbecued kid) with all the trimmings. We gathered in honor of Homar, Pablo, and my remarkably cool and collected ‘teens. We were joined by locals, spa employees, the spa owners who provided red wine, and a sixty year old  great grandmother named Ximena claiming first name friendship with every radical leftist in the region. One owner tried to convince my daughter that he was some sort of movie mogul, and another hoped I’d invest in the Spa. (Actually, not a bad idea if I lived there.)  The ping pong tourney started up again at the insistence of Homar and Felipe, who both avoided alcohol in favor of the sport. I didn’t see anyone else make that sacrifice.

When I finally herded my charges to bed, it was early morning. Our hosts continued to celebrate life, the volcano, and perhaps, the numinous. I found myself again under the starry pantheon, listening to the wired children in the tent, and sounds of the party in the distance. The Earth Dragon again spit volcanic flashes intermittently at the dark. I was happy to have followed to my own rule: never take more than three children to the mountains. There are too many dragons lurking there in the earth’s crust.

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[1] Language traits in neighboring countries are often comingled. For example, Chilean slang has adapted the preference for honorific grammar (Vos)  from Argentina, as  here in ‘sacai’, suppressing the terminal s ; and in  using an article before a name as in Brazilian  Portuguese.  (El Homar rather than simply  the grammatically correct Homar.)

A Pachamama Christmas Gift

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The Melba Notebooks[1] portray the ankylosis of elder- time. Entries shuffle stiffly along the pages, days, nights, meals, illnesses, recoveries, and medications, in the handwritten words of caregivers who come and go.   The enervating tedium is only broken by unexpected or outrageous events, and by the sharp clear voice of writers, like Di, Melba’s principal caregiver in 1996.  Her regular morning notes begin innocently with repetitive introductory remarks about her arrival, cleaning up, and the preparation of meals:

11/1/ 96 Di: Got here.   Put away groc.  Cleaned up, did laundry.          made jello

made muffins

Beef stroganoff

Carrots, broccli, tomatos, muffins.

made cole slaw[2]

The generic notation above for the first of November is followed by a recurring Di-ism:

“Dinner still in oven from last night”.

Since Melba fractured her hip two years prior, then fell again one year later fracturing the other hip, her husband Bob,  and their four children have managed the household. They all communicate by writing notes to one another in spiral notebooks, the source for this episode.  The night before caregiver Di had left a hot dish in the oven, but Bob overlooked it, serving only left-overs for supper.  He does this sort of thing rather often.

11/2/96 Di:*  We are doing an experiment.  Old hamburger.  Old salad.  If they both get ill, it was the hamburger. If only dad gets ill, it was the salad. (Here there is a happy face. Why? Because Bob now doesn’t eat meat. He has been told it is bad for prostate cancer!)

Di…. But  they say it was really good!

11/3/96 Di: * Well…no one was sick- so I guess they are tough!  Their stomachs are used to it since they use the oven as a ‘fridge!

11/5/96  6PM Di: Mom went to the toilet  in the stink of soiled Depends on the outside windowsill. I removed them.  She was pissed. (sorry!)

Di takes a dim view of men in general, having experienced abuse in her own life. This particular man, Bob, threatens to become administrator of Melba’s kitchen, bathroom, laundry, medications, and body.

Pachamama

Di  is ¼ Inca but unacquainted with Pachamama[3], female Inca deity who created the world. Earth is Pachamama’s current name, and she is very green.  But Bob was green for reasons antithetical to most green dogma.  He is green because imprinted by his parents’ family values, Thoreau’s abstemiousness, and by the great depression that drove him out of the country to find work. His various machinations to save soap and water place him at the most extreme of greenness:  he tries to limit toilet flushes to one-a-day L; he has placed bricks in the toilet tank, and  since his prostate surgery, voids in the bathroom sink (it’s convenient and saves water); he has post op incontinence and uses old pieces of cloth to catch leaking urine, rinsing them in a thread-thin stream of tap water and drying them on the towel rack or windowsill ; he objects to the use of the washer and dryer; he uses up all left-over food before  resorting to fresh cooked victuals, and  cooks up great quantities of bulk produce, serving the same dish, from the same dish,  three meals a day for many days.  Di finds these are insults to herself, to Melba, and the entire female universe.

11/12/96 Sophie:  Came to get Melba to go to church. She wasn’t dressed yet. Dad went ahead so I think she didn’t want to go! I’ll take her to my house for a shower. (It has become very difficult for Melba to get in and out of the tub, and Bob still resists replacing the tub with a walk-in or wheel-in shower.)

Dora, 4PM: House is warm and restful. Cat here and very happy.  I reminded mom that he has a sensitive stomach and can’t eat people food or milk.  He urps it up.

11/17/96 Sophie: Here for short visit.  Dad mad because Cat won’t go out the kitchen door- thought I’d better check on it.  Dad did get into a hassle w/cat; hand is black & blue & scratched.

Without exception, Notebook caregivers are lovers and defenders of this stray tomcat; that twists Bob’s tail. Ongoing hostilities between Bob and the feline invader call to mind the hearth/ forest and male/female dichotomy of the Kipling story, ‘The Cat Who Walks By Himself’. There is no fond description of the tomcat, and color is never mentioned, because he is much larger, more transcendental than would be a mere pet; his formal and proper name is appropriately archetypical like Man; it is: Cat.

11/ 15/96 Dora:   Sunday. Good morning. Mom not going to church this morning. Nor ready.  Didn’t realize it was Sunday. Messiah tonight.  Need to be at the MB Theatre at 2:00 or 2:15.  Will meet Nick and Will there.  Both Melba and Bob seem depressed today.

Maybe it is intuition…  Yet they look forward to The Messiah. Classic Opera, Gilbert and Sullivan, symphonic, choral, and Mexican rancheros are staples of Bob and Melba’s life together.  A performance of the Messiah on a cold winter day in the north latitudes, when nightfall is in afternoon, might be passed up by many people almost ninety years old; but this old couple are unwilling to miss it.

Bob still drives his old Plymouth.  He does so now. (When I last visited, I had no heart to ask him not to drive me to and from the airport. Over the objections of those who love us both, I  reasoned that though he may not hear well, since his cataract surgery he sees better; and he is a more cautious, probably a safer driver than long ago when he drove always at the edge of speed, time, and route, relying on his reflexes, but straining the sphincters of his passengers.)

Bob and Melba leave the Church on that dark winter evening after the long performance of The Messiah. Bob steps out to find the car, leaving Melba behind to catch up. But he is pre-occupied about something; he doesn’t recall where he parked.  They walk on. And on.  At last Melba becomes cold, exhausted, and falls, fracturing her pelvis. Yet fortunately it is not severe, and this time, unlike the earlier hip fractures,  she is expected to soon begin the familiar painful and slow process of healing. Only later will a pacemaker correct the true cause of her recurring falls: dysrythmia.

11/16/96 Di:*  Sorry about Melba.  Will do whatever I can to help. Bob thinks every other day will be enough (for me to work) until Melba gets back.

Indeed he does.  In fact, when Di takes time off, Bob manages very well alone and the notebook voices fall completely silent; there is not a single word written there until Melba is brought home from the hospital; the notebooks are not about Bob.

Ever since her hip fractures, requiring many weeks in an Extended Care Facility, Melba has been very fearful of being buried alive in such a place.  She has repeatedly insisted she will die happily before living through it again.  Yet now the same future faces her.

Several days later, in the hospital, she is up in a chair with help.  Sophie, Melba’s  youngest daughter, is a nurse and tries very hard to convince Melba’s doctors to allow her to go home rather than to a Nursing Facility. Sophie has installed the hospital equipment needed for Melba’s care at home. She has requested regular home physiotherapy; yet despite the great reduction of net cost that would result, the bureaucracy, filled with fear of known or imagined danger, cannot agree.  (Regulators have at their disposal sanctions, denial of claims, and other unstated reprisals. After all regulations are thousands of pages long.  Or perhaps it is felt more important to prosecute minor  infractions of  rules by  bit players than wholesale multi million dollar fraud.)

Sophie has no power of attorney, but Melba is clear-headed and adamant. Based on Melba’s iterated wish, and many prior family conversations there is no need to consult with anyone. Therefore Sophie acts:

At 5 AM on December 24th, the hospital halls are as quiet and as vacant as a catacomb. Sophie simply commandeers a wheelchair, and abducts Melba from her bed, taking her back to her familiar unsafe old three story home. There is where the love of Melba’s long life waits; she made a commitment to Bob in 1929, and won’t  cast it aside for the sake of  any pale fop like the law, a medical profession on cruise control,  public convention, safety, or   opinion.

12/ 25/96: 8 AMDi:* Warm and quiet. Cat asleep and happy on the hairloom couch. Merry Christmas all!  See you soon!

On Christmas morning Cat is warily detached as always. But Melba, her family, Di, and other caregivers are not. Sophie’s Pachamama intervention is her most transcendental act of faith, and her greatest gift to us all that Christmas in 1996.



[1] Adapted from entries in  five spiral notebooks written over a nine year period by family and caregivers to communicate with each other, as they assisted Bob and Melba, born in 1908, to live and ultimately to die, in their own home. Aberrations of grammar and spelling are preserved. The author’s comments are in italics.

[2] A generic opening note by Di is always basically the same. It will later be indicated only by an *.

[3] Pachamama is a goddess revered by the indigenous people of the Andes. Pachamama is usually translated as ‘Mother Earth’ but a more literal translation would be “Mother world”.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pachamama.

Unearthing Old Words

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Digging up my journals for ’92 through ‘94 I look for my trips with Dad to the Bay area for The Big Games. I want to find the detail of his flight, the supper and the night at the hotel, and the early morning discovery that his suitcase is full of Saris and a program for a medical anesthesiology meeting. I need those buried words for an essay. But I cut my self on some sharp shards:

At July 6 1992 is a note from A for father’s day:

‘This will entitle the bearer to one all expenses paid weekend scuba trip in Monterey Bay… including lodging, meals, and equipment rental. Should you feel that you are too out of practice for Scuba, a replacement gift will be arranged, you wimp!! Love, XXOO, A.’

I didn’t ever go.

At October 18th 1992 I find a letter from L, age 12…

‘Dear Mommy and Daddy,

I can’t face you or tell you all this person to person, so I will have to write. I was bitterly disappointed today with my performance, but what really makes me feel terrible is that I disappointed you, my wonderful parents. You worked so hard today to make the rep class a success and it seems inconceivable to me that I could have let you down so utterly. I will try harder, because I want to return the love you give me in every way I can. I’m so sorry, mommy and daddy; please forgive me for failing you. I’m sorry. Goodnight.

Love, signed(sic) L, your daughter who will try her best.’

I had read the letter, and saved it. But there is no evidence of my hearing that child voice.

At 23 Marzo 1993 in a journal I bought in Chile, is this:

Tío

Yo le digo tío-pero no es tío mío,

I call him uncle

Lo digo pa’ joder.

But i say it to piss him off.

Yo era forastero, solitario,

I was a stranger, alone,

Un poco amargado, resentido-

Quite bitter, resentful.

Pero me trató con sencillez,

But he treated me with openness,

Con cariño como si fuera digno de respeto,

And affection as if I merited respect.

Como si no hubiera cagado muchas veces la vida mía.

As if I hadn’t fucked up my life.

Cuando no soñaba, él me alimentó con sueños suyos.

When I couldn’t dream he fed me his own,

Sueños Gonzalez, raros, bellos,

Gonzalez dreams, strange, and beautiful,

Con vitaminas de locura.

With vitamins of insanity.

Todavía  sueño con la vida más que la muerte,

I still dream of life more than death.

Puedo dar y recibir, soy sano, fuerte.

Can give, receive, am whole, strong.

Y todavía le digo tío,

And still I call him Uncle,

Porque no tengo nombre suficientemente grande,

For there’s no word great enough,

Ni profundo, ni ancho

Or deep enough or wide,

Para este hombre que le digo tío,

For this man I call Uncle,

Pero no es tío mío.

Who is no uncle of mine.

A few years later my Tío got prostate cancer and I advised no aggressive treatment; it’s still there watching quietly. Last time we spoke, eight years after a dense stroke, he was confused, but alert, diapered, and bedridden. He usually feigned good cheer, but often professed an overwhelming sadness; yet he did not recall my assurance, after the cancer diagnosis, that I would interfere personally if he ever requested it.

Disturbed diaries can speak, accuse, or shame. Mine say I have too often ignored what was significant, focusing only on what was important. They ask aloud if a child can overcome an ambitious father’s love, suggesting the grown woman might be handicapped by 12 year old child-eyes, which may see only vanity in vulgarly powerful men.

They accuse me of overlooking the innocent love of a child while focusing on self love.  They say I made promises I cannot keep. I try to defend myself, claiming each day in life is at once smaller, less significant as a part of the whole, yet greater because we learn to know ourselves, and each other.

But I doubt. Abruptly, unwilling  to risk further injury, I close ’92 and ’94, and reinter them with their kin, at least for now; later, perhaps when I’m prepared. Digging about among old personal words should be done only with an empty stomach, a quiet mind, and a full heart.

The Immigrant Llama

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These natives of the Andes are an elegant and ecologically superior pack animal in the high Sierra, and potential companions for mature people with physical limitations who retain a love for the high mountains.

My friend Tom first introduced me to the local  llamas, immigrant camelids, or New World camels. He had been using these beautiful animals for several seasons, to carry gear, thereby converting back pack trips into luxurious excursions, something locals have heretofore only found through horse packing.

I found the baby-eyed, incredibly sweet-breathed, graceful ruminants to be sturdy, mountain-wise companions.   I found delight in the luxury of taking along all those things which make life easy above tree line, but which I could not carry by myself. At last I realized that I never did actually enjoy carrying 50 pounds on my back or being my own beast of burden.

A few years ago entrepreneurs began to import llamas from South America. Breeding animals were initially very costly, often selling for $10,000 or more.  Although alpaca or llama meat is nourishing, tasty and low in fat, llamas are apparently not great producers by comparison to other domestic animals. Neither llama nor alpaca has been commercially successful  soruce of meat or wool  North America.

Nonetheless, the immigrant llama has survived, at least in the domestic state, and is seen quite frequently, especially in the Western US.

The llama, like the potato, tomato, corn, and dozens of  other unique crops, was domesticated by pre-Columbian indigenous peoples in South America. A native to the Andes, llamas are particularly well adapted to mountain terrain, and are commonly used in the altiplano as pack animals.  Ecologically and practically, pack llamas are far superior to ungulates, or hoofed animals. They are ruminants, regurgitating and chewing like cattle. but as browsers they can generally live off the land, and do not pillage and destroy all vegetation, as do goats. Their feet are padded, and therefore much less destructive of terrain, leaving no deeply rutted and eroded trails like heavier hoofed horses or cattle. Llamas can weigh more than 350 pounds,   and carry from 60 to 100 pounds nicely, pound for pound relatively far more than a horse or mule. They are capable of defending themselves from carnivores. Endowed with extremely acute vision and smell, a male llama, raised and bonded with sheep for example, makes a very efficient and effective shepherd which will detect and react to intruders. Their strange appearance alone is frightening to many animals, and they attack aggressively.

Humanity is constrained universally, however, by preconceptions, cultural restrictions and subtle prejudice. In South America, where I visit often, I have never seen the llama used as a pack animal by other than indigenous people.  Never. The European Conquistadors were, and are, horse worshipers. The horse was historically a formidable and fearsome animal, able to carry warriors as well as considerable loads. Even the word for gentleman in Spanish is caballero, or horseman; as always, language both reflects and molds thinking and culture. No conquistador would tolerate being seen leading llama about because the conquered people’s  llamas remain stigmatized in the invader’s heart and mind.

However, the llama has been seen with new eyes in North America; eyes un-blinded by the gold driven ferocity of Cortez and Pizarro. Eyes that see mountain ranges as safe houses far from the toxic wasteland of modern living. So, seeing with new eyes, small llama herdsmen began to use llamas for pack animals in the Sierras. Light new material was adapted to make well-fitting, comfortable and practical packs, like double saddlebags. Small horse trailers, utility trailers, pickup trucks, even Volkswagen microbuses can be enlisted to move the llamas to trailheads. What has evolved is the North American Pack Llama, made even more formidable by new equipment and techniques.

The easiest way to llama pack is to contract with a professional, who will trailer the llamas to the trail head, and pack in and out, with or without full services.  Unfortunately, though   there are now thousands of llama owners and breeders, llama packers are not common for two principal reasons:  First, local llamas have been selectively  bred for  long wool, fine appearance, and docile behavior; the  comparatively unruly and plain pack llama has become scarce, so that  llama packers must often breed their own, or import genuine pack animals from the Andes.

Second, while the training and maturation of a pack llama is roughly comparable to that of a  common horse or mule, the power politics of packing puts llama packers at a significant disadvantage . There is fierce  competition for ‘turf’.  Commercial packing permits are often co-opted by  commercial horse packers who are not interested in competition from llama packers. This is particularly so in crowded states like California.

Therefore the simple and practical way to llama-pack, is to lease them and manage them as an individual with the right to use the public trails. One local llama provider charges roughly $45 daily per llama, and $1.50 per mile for trailering. My friend Tom is, to say the least, compulsive. So we  first took a four-hour course in loading, and managing llamas, then a three-day course, and finally a trial by immersion in the Eastern Sierras where we rented mature llamas that were well-trained and in good condition, accustomed to packing.  On the other hand, llamas can  often be rented with only an hour or two of training. They are reliable, mountain wise, and not aggressive.

One must  be the alpha llama, and lead with care, and thoughtfulness, so as not to erode the trust necessary for the animals to follow with confidence. They must be loaded carefully, and evenly. Llamas are very much herd animals so a  lone llama will often become agitated and squat, or will head for home. It is very hard to catch a  loose lone llama, though a llama will never leave a companion animal  behind. When  seriously distressed for any reason, they tend to simply sit down. One must figure out what the problem is.  When that is corrected they will get up and go forward.

Llamas don’t often spit, but when angry or upset can regurgitate forcefully through a locked-open mouth. They are almost never friendly, even if they look cuddly, but on the other hand neither are they treacherous or aggressive. They are usually trustworthy about browsing, though a number of plants, domestic and wild, are poisonous. A few leaves of rhododendron or oleander can be fatal. Less dangerous but common toxic plants include laurel, some ivies, bleeding heart, bracken fern, all sneeze weeds, and of course nightshade (belladonna) or foxglove (digitalis).  Part of a wise llama packer is a stomach tube and activated charcoal. However, in ten years I have never had occasion to use one.

I hope to continue to enjoy these unique alpine-wise animals and the mountain worlds they dominate so well, into an indefinite and pleasant old age.  Like all generic immigrants, llamas have uniquely enriched their new country, in ways very different from what was expected.